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  • Writer's pictureClint Williams

Heavy Work...

Every music teacher and professor has told me this:

 

 “Whatever you put into your music, you will get out; garbage in, garbage out. GREATNESS in, GREATNESS out!” It’s very much true that you can’t hide your intentions or habits in music.

 

I believe music is not bound by present time and space, so I wrote about love when I felt it. I wrote about heroics when I wanted someone or something to save the day. I didn’t feel the full effect until I wrote about grief. Music is also transformative and can send you right back into the belly of the beast.

 

My grief counselor suggested that I journal my experience. I refused because I didn’t want anyone to use my words against me. Instead, I used a code that is a little harder to decipher—music. All the greats wrote about personal grief in one way or another, so why shouldn’t I? It’s my way of talking about it without actually using words and the listener can channel their relative grief instead of listening to mine.

 

It was a good idea until it worked.

 

The Oklahoma Chamber Symphony is doing some heavy lifting with my work, and one of the movements, Gnashing of Teeth, sends me to the heart of why I needed to write this work in the first place: This movement is my soul doing what I won’t let my body do.

 

My counselor was right, there is healing in confronting your problems head-on. I had no idea it would work like this, but then again my teachers and professors were right.

 

I brought a heavy piece, and these good folks are throwing the weight back towards me.

I brought something emotional, and that emotion is coming back with a vengeance.

I brought a chance to tango with my mental clouds, and they’ve laid out a dance floor.


It's not bad, just not what I had bargained for.

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